overwhelmed by how incredibly lucky I am.
This week has been hard for me-lots of tears and feeling sorry for myself. The reality of me going back to work hit me this week and there hasn't been a day that I haven't cried multiple times thinking about my time at home with her ending.
I've been a wreck. I've wanted to run away with her and hide from the reality that in 3 weeks I'll be going back to work.
Today we met my friend Ann for a bagel and coffee-McClellan was, as usual, perfect-not a peep, just tons of gummy grins and giggles. Afterwards we went to Sunflower to pick up a few things for the weekend and again, perfect, she was perfect. Looking up from the cart smiling at me and reminding me of how incredibly lucky I am.
I've spent so much time this week being a wreck that I haven't been focusing on how
flippin' lucky I am.
I am IN LOVE with my daughter.
She is incredible. She is beautiful. She is funny. She is perfect. She is
everything.
Going back to work is going to be incredibly hard-there's no way around that.
Today though, I was reminded how lucky I am-including lucky to have my job. The job that provided the benefits (even if they did go up in cost) that got her the best care while she grew inside me, that will continue to provide the benefits to help keep her healthy and growing strong, that will help provide for her financially.
Do I wish I could stay home with her? A
bso-
frickin'-
lutely. But that's not an option.
So...I'm going to
try and focus on how lucky I am. Lucky to have the most perfect ever little girl. Lucky to have the most perfect ever husband (most of the time,
hee-
hee) who is the most perfect ever father to our perfect little girl. And yes, I'm lucky to have my job to go back to.
Even though it means I'll have to leave this behind five mornings a week.

I'll be focusing on getting to come home to this five nights a week.