The hunt for the Perfect Christmas Tree

Yesterday we headed West to cut down our Christmas tree. This year we got our permit for Chief Hosa-not far up I70 and beautiful!

We stopped at a few different spots and hiked around-through snow, no gators and no snowshoes. A couple of times the snow got deep, up to my knees!

We found a few trees that would work and then narrowed it down before finally picking the perfect tree.

Perfect tree-really what that means when you go to the mountains and cut a tree down is the perfect, imperfect, tree. For us that means tall-at the very least 11' and as full as possible. But, as with most perfect, imperfect, trees, finding a full one is difficult.

We think we found a pretty good one this year-but then we say that every year. Now on to the decorating-stay tuned!!

19 weeks-Pregnancy & Produce

Oh my gosh...we're already 19 weeks pregnant!! I can't believe it!! I know that there will come a time where I may regret saying this, but here it goes anyway...I can't believe how fast it's going by!! In a good way...each week we're so excited to get our latest update and figure out what the produce of the week is!!

So, without further adieu, here's this week update from http://www.babycenter.com/ :

"Your baby's sensory development is exploding! Her brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. Some research suggests that she may be able to hear your voice now, so don't be shy about reading aloud, talking to her, or singing a happy tune if the mood strikes you.Your baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces and measures 6 inches, head to bottom — about the size of a large heirloom tomato. Her arms and legs are in the right proportions to each other and the rest of her body now. Her kidneys continue to make urine and the hair on her scalp is sprouting. A waxy protective coating called the vernix caseosa is forming on her skin to prevent it from pickling in the amniotic fluid."

Um....pickling skin? I could have done without that little piece of info-creepy.

As for our baby being able to hear us-how amazing is that?!?!? Or maybe not...I'm sure that the past two days with the snow we've had and sub-zero temperatures our baby has heard some things that I wish they hadn't. Don't worry, I always put my hand on my stomach and tell the baby I'm sorry...just trying to keep us both safe and warm. Apologies make it all better, right?

The other night I told Matt that sometimes I feel bad that I'm the only one who will ever get to know what it feels like to carry our baby 24/7 - Matt just looked at me and said "That's ok, you don't have to feel bad." I'm not sure he really understood that I wasn't saying "Too bad you don't get to be pregnant", I was trying to say, "You'll never know what it feels like to have your child never leave you, not for a second, and never know what it feels like to be able to put your hand on your stomach, know your baby is right there, and everything instantly feel better."

~Melissa

Pregnancy & Produce and Decisions- 18 Wks

Growing so fast...from http://www.babycenter.com/ this week:

"Head to rump, your baby is about 5 1/2 inches long (about the length of a bell pepper) and he weighs almost 7 ounces. He's busy flexing his arms and legs — movements that you'll start noticing more and more in the weeks ahead. His blood vessels are visible through his thin skin, and his ears are now in their final position, although they're still standing out from his head a bit. A protective covering of myelin is beginning to form around his nerves, a process that will continue for a year after he's born. If you're having a girl, her uterus and fallopian tubes are formed and in place. If you're having a boy, his genitals are noticeable now, but he may hide them from you during an ultrasound."

So, speaking of genitals ...

We have talked about having a baby for years now, and tried having a baby for over a year before we finally got pregnant. Matt and I agreed from the beginning, when we first were dating and talking about kids, that we wouldn't want to find out "what" we were having-we'd leave it a surprise until our baby's birthday. BUT...now the decision is actually real, and we are actually pregnant, so the discussion has come up again and again. The reasons to find out and the reasons not to find out, we've discussed, re-discussed and over-discussed the topic.

We've made a decision...

We will NOT be finding out if we're Team Pink or Team Blue. We'll remain Team Green until our little bell pepper is born.

Shocked? Surprised? A lot of people tell me that they can't believe that I am going to wait until the baby is born. After all, if you know me, I'm an over-planner. My job is planning, being prepared and doing everything I can to assure there are no surprises. So when people hear that I actually want this to be a surprise, and that we haven't changed our minds on this...you got it, they're surprised. Frankly, some people, not so secretly, think we'll cave and ask to find out at the ultrasound.

Decision #2:

A few weeks ago I posted about freaking out a bit when our Dr. told us she wanted us to go to a specialist for an ultrasound. (If you don't remember see this: http://ohbladilifegoeson.blogspot.com/2009/11/heartbeat-and-frustration-15-weeks-6.html)

So after a lot of thought and discussion, we decided to go with the specialist and do the "Super-Sonic Ultrasound."

I'm still nervous...but more than that I'm now really excited. I still would rather not know if there is anything "wrong" ... but decided that might be a little selfish. If there is a heart problem or a kidney issue, etc...our baby deserves all the best care we can give them. This may be my first wake up call that I/we can't do what's best for me/us...some decisions we'll be hard for me/us but best for our child.

So there you have it...decisions have been made. : )

~Melissa

Pregnancy and Prodcue - 17 Wks

Our baby is now the size of a turnip!!

Turnips aren't the cutest things but I did love them as a kid-raw with salt on them at Bea's-Ha!

Our info from babycenter.com gives us this info on the development this week:

"Your baby's skeleton is changing from soft cartilage to bone, and the umbilical cord — her lifeline to the placenta — is growing stronger and thicker. Your baby weighs 5 ounces now (about as much as a turnip), and she's around 5 inches long from head to bottom. She can move her joints, and her sweat glands are starting to develop."

Apparently I could start feeling the baby move any day now...I'm not sure if I have felt anything yet or not. There have been a few times that I think I'm feeling little flutters or butterflies, but who knows. I like to think it's our baby though, makes me smile.

This past week at work was rough-soooo busy and soooo overwhelmed. I'm really starting to realize that all these years of me never saying no, of always being available, of always being the "go-to girl"...are taking a toll on me. Work is busy, work is demanding, work can be relentless at times, but I have to draw the line and I have to take care of me. Now how I'm going to do that is beyond me...

Needless to say I was glad when the weekend came and I could take a break for a few days.

Matt and I have had a great weekend-did some house work and even make $9 at our neighbor's garage sale! Whee!! Last night we went out to Southlands for their tree lighting and Christmas parade. We met some friends out there and their 2 year old son. Needless to say, watching a Christmas parade with a 2 year old on your shoulders sure does bring a different element of fun! My friend said "Wow, I feel like I'm seeing into the future here" ... Matt and I kind of felt the same way, and that made us smile...big time.

~Melissa

Pregnancy & Produce - 16 wks

(a little late...but better late than never)

This past week was a little chaotic, between an emotional Dr's apt, work being really busy for both of us and trying to get out of town for a much needed weekend in the mountains with friends...well, I fell behind on updating the blog.

This week, our baby is the size of an Avocado!

Our information from http://www.babycenter.com/ this week:

"Get ready for a growth spurt. In the next few weeks, your baby will double his weight and add inches to his length. Right now, he's about the size of an avocado: 4 1/2 inches long (head to rump) and 3 1/2 ounces. His legs are much more developed, his head is more erect than it has been, and his eyes have moved closer to the front of his head. His ears are close to their final position, too. The patterning of his scalp has begun, though his locks aren't recognizable yet. He's even started growing toenails. And there's a lot happening inside as well. For example, his heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, and this amount will continue to increase as your baby continues to develop."

First of all, I love avocados so I have no problem picturing how big our little avocado is right about now. In fact-we have about 4 on the counter right now. Secondly, can I say how absolutely fascinated I am with these updates?

I also get updates from another website, http://www.whattoexpect.com/ and this week their update really got me smiling:

"Listen up: Tiny bones in your fetus's ears are in place this week, making it likely that the baby can hear your voice when you're speaking (or singing in the shower)at 16 weeks pregnant. In fact, studies have found that babies who are sung to while they're in the womb recognize the same tune when it's sung to them after they are born... "

For those of you who know Matt, he is a HUGE music lover...so this bit of news really made him smile. This little avocado is going to be born recognizing, Phish, Government Mule, Yonder Mountain String Band, Queens of the Stoneage and Allman Brothers if Matt has anything to say about it! Ha!

~Melissa

Heartbeat and Frustration - 15 weeks 6 days

Today we had another Dr's apt-if you're thinking "didn't you just have an apt?"-Yes. We're going more often that the "norm" due to the early issues we had.

We heard our little apple's heartbeat again today-156 BPM. It's still so amazing and so flippin' cool!!

Today the Dr talked to us about going to a Specialist for an Ultrasound for our 20 week apt. I questioned why we would do that vs go to the ultrasound office downstairs from her office like I always do (yes-we've had lots of those too) and the Dr's response was "Based on your age-this will give us a more detailed view of the heart and kidney's." Um..."why do we need a more detailed view than normal?" Again her response was just based on my age, I'm 35, OH AND "the increased possibility of down syndrome."

It was at this point that the apt became way less fun and I forgot all about how great it was hearing the heartbeat.

YES-I am fully aware that my age puts me in a higher risk category for having a baby born with down syndrome. BUT-we decided against doing any first trimester screening because we didn't want to know if there were any "defects" & because it wouldn't change anything for us.

So to hear that now at the 20 week apt, where we thought we were just looking at our baby and falling even deeper in love, that it's really this super serious ultrasound with potential bad news attached...yeah, you guess it, freaked me out.

I spent most of the rest of the day on the verge of tears and being frustrated. At one point I thought about not doing the ultrasound at all. I really can't explain my feelings and admit that they are pretty irrational for the most part. Matt of course was amazing, as always, and was being totally supportive of all of my thoughts, emotions and feelings-no matter how irrational they were. I told him today, as I've told him many times, how grateful I am that I have him-I need someone to keep me grounded on days like this and there isn't anyone better for the job than Matt.

Tonight I'm feeling better...not over it yet but I'm better. I just can't stand that my age alone makes everyone want to label me as high risk. I know plenty of women who have given birth to very healthy babies after the age of 35...I'm sure they all went through this...I just wasn't expecting it.

Pregnancy & Produce: Week 15

Ladies and gentlemen...we now have an Apple!!

Here's what http://www.babycenter.com/ has to say about our baby's growth this week:

"How your baby's growing:Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple). She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds. Finally, if you have an ultrasound this week, you may be able to find out whether your baby's a boy or a girl! (Don't be too disappointed if it remains a mystery, though. Nailing down your baby's sex depends on the clarity of the picture and on your baby's position. He or she may be modestly curled up or turned in such a way as to "hide the goods.") "

As for me and how I'm feeling:
I really can't complain. I haven't been sick at all-moments where I thought I might but haven't actually thrown up-WOO HOO!! :::knocking on wood::: Seems like the key for me is to make sure I eat in the morning...otherwise it could get messy! Blech!!

As for my clothes-they are definitely starting to get tighter. Pants that I wore last week are no longer an option. I think it's time to start looking for some maternity clothes. Not sure I'm looking forward to that...clothes aren't my thing and finding clothes that fit without being pregnant is tough enough.

I'm SOOOO glad that Matt is back home. That was the longest he's ever been away-6 days and it wasn't fun.

I cheered myself up one day with some shopping-went into Baby Gap for fun and walked out with some great deals all for under $12 total! A cute little Halloween onesie for next year, a green onesie that says "How cute am I?" and a brown corduroy hat with those flaps that snap down-SOOOO cute! AND...I got a maternity shirt for me too-all for under $12!!